I REALLY want to write more. I realize that I struggle because I spend more time thinking about what I want to write than I do actually writing. I feel like each sentence has to be perfect before my fingers tap tap tap it out. I get anxious that what I write won’t be good enough. I have to remember the purpose for originally starting this Blog was to get the thoughts out of my head so they wouldn’t constantly bounce around keeping me awake, fueling my anxiety, wreaking havoc on my OCD brain.
I read the same sentence repeatedly. I can spend hours just perfecting one sentence. So I’m trying something new, which already isn’t working because I just spent five minutes staring at the keys. Focus Lauri! I want to try just typing everything that my mind has come up with, and then try to organize it into a more cohesive structure. Cut and paste will be my new best friend. I’ve also been trying to write advance posts to publish at future dates. That is a nice feature by the way.
This is actually very difficult. My thoughts tend to drift, like cliches, like my eyes over the drifting snow outside, oh look, there is a squirrel. Are those rabbit tracks? Wait, that took 15 minutes, fiddle sticks! Focus, focus, focus. This is also why I tend to have numerous, unfinished drafts in my Post box. Thoughts wander to the next post, I get stuck with what I’m working on. I have to put another Jelly Belly in my mouth. I’ll come back to that. Wendell needs lunch, I need a shower, oh so does Wendell.
And there is always some chore needing attention, vacuum the dried mud from last week, the leaves DJ just tracked in, or the sugar spilled in the kitchen. Too bad my OCD doesn’t always tie into my cleaning. My counters are clean, but I don’t eat off the floor. Most areas get tidied every day, but deep cleaning is weekly, sometimes.
It isn’t that I don’t have a multitude of subjects about which to write. I have dozens of subjects jotted down so I won’t forget. Sometimes, I’m just not in the mood to write about a particular something, or as noted previously, I can’t get my thoughts organized properly and to perfection. So, maybe with this new plan, I can attempt some of the topics on my list and…Just write, see what happens.