A few weeks ago, Wendell was getting his haircut at one of those walk-in places. Since he can’t tell the stylist what he wants, and the stylists are never the same, I sit back with him to answer for him. It doesn’t take them too long to realize that he isn’t the typical kid customer. But that isn’t the point of this story.
Sitting in the chair next to Wendell was gentleman, his stylist was just finishing up. Instead of openly gawking at him (as many people do with Wendell) I could gawk at him in the mirror, while seemingly looking at Wendell. What caused me to do the double take in the first place was noticing that there was a part, less than an inch above his ear. Above the part, the hair was combed over the top. The stylist turned him back to the mirror so I could see the other side. The combed over hair went to about the same spot an inch or so above his other ear. The stylist was fussing with the top, trying (unsuccessfully in my opinion) to make it look right. This flap of hair was about 9 inches long, no amount of fixing was going to make this look right.
As he readied to leave the shop, he donned a baseball cap. It went exactly to where the part started, so if you never saw him without his cap, one would never had guessed about the comb-over. After confirming his departure, I turned to Wendell’s stylist and asked, “Why do men do that? Do they really think it looks good?” She commented hat she thought it was vanity. OK I guess. But I’m sure when these guys were younger and had hair, they had to have noticed other men with comb-overs and thought how ridiculous it looks? The certainly don’t say, “That’s how I’m going to style my hair when I get older.”
Over the years, I’m sure we’ve all seen countless men of varying ages perform this ritual. I’ve seen men clearly in their 70’s with horrible dye jobs AND comb-overs. If vanity is the driving factor, then someone needs to tell them that they would look much better bald, or with a horse shoe head. Buzz it down real short, this to me is the best camouflage because you lose the baldness in the short hairs. Or keep it long if you like, just skip the comb-over.
DJ likes to tease me and threaten with a comb-over, but I know he would never embarrass himself this way. Fortunately, we agree on the hideousness of such attempts to hide baldness. I’ve yet to meet one person who thinks a comb-over looks good, but I guess they could just be publicly agreeing with me to hide their embarrassment. Or to keep me from embarrassing myself.
So I say, people, tell your friends who appear to be struggling with hiding their balding pates, No Comb-Overs! Stylists, have the guts to suggest an alternative to your clients! Or invest in some nice looking hats.